Kenyan Matatu operators are known for
their weird replies. They have the most
terrible replies one can ever receive!!!.... they are called "Majibu za Makanga". That
is why at times you are told not to waste your time arguing with a matatu
tout/conductor because you will be the one left feeling ashamed. Most of them
have little control for their tongues. Although some sound funny others are quite terrible. Below are some of the replies that people receive while in Kenyan
matatus.
Passenger: Hii gari kuna joto sana (It’s
very hot in this vehicle)
Matatu Operator: Shuka
upande fridge (Alight and board a fridge)!
Passenger: Wee
conda twende tunachelewa (Conductor let’s go, we are running late)
Matatu
Operator Wenye wana haraka
hupanda ambulance!!! Shuka ukimbie (Those who are in a hurry are carried by an
ambulance!!! Alight and run).
Passenger: Kuna
kiti (Is there a vacant seat)?
Matatu Operator: Eeh
iko (Yes, there is)
Passenger: Iko ama ni zile uongo
zenu (Is there really a seat or are you just telling lies as it usual with you
guys)?
Matatu
Operator: Kama ulikuwa unaogopa
kukosa kiti si ungebeba chako kutoka nyumbani (If you were so afraid of missing
a seat why didn’t you carry yours from home)?
Passenger: Naeza lipa 10 bob?
Sina mbao (Can I pay 10 shillings since I don’t have 20 shillings)?
Matatu
Operator: Hiyo kumi nenda
ukunywe mafuta ukimbie hadi tao (Go buy fuel with the 10 shillings, drink it
and run till town).
Passenger: Kuna
Nafasi ya Kuketi
Matatu Operator Iko
mpaka ya kulala
Passenger: Kuna
kiti (Is there a vacant seat)?
Matatu Operator: Eeeh
viti ziko mob (yes there are lots of seats)
Passenger enters the
vehicle and finds no vacant seat
Passenger: Si
ulisema kuna viti (Didn’t you say there are seats)?
Matatu
Operator: Eeeh kwani hizo
zimekaliwa ni basin (Are the other passengers sitting on basins)?
I know to some it may seem as humor but to others it is awful, more especially to those being told.
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